Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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