There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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