I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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