Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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