I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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