Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize