I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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