my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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