I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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