Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize