dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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