Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize