is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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