we're chasing vodka with high fives
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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