pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize