piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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