Non-Jews are for practice
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize