In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize