Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize