Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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