we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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