Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ugly people sure do ruin things
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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