I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize