And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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