Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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