Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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