It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
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just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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