Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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