no, he came in my armpit
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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