P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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