Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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