Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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(586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?

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(612): Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka? http://tfl.nu/htpr

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle

(859): View more from Kentucky

Guys should not giggle. Ever.

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(859): Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean? (1-859): im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle (859): Guys should not giggle. Ever. http://tfl.nu/p9xa

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(818): View more from California

Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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(818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...

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(502): i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is... http://tfl.nu/n91t

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(806): View more from Texas

apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom

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(806): apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/lh1h

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(760): View more from California

Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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(760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.

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(617): Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/bxqj

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(312): View more from Illinois

I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.

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(312): I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/bqr4

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.

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(204): Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day. http://tfl.nu/31tb

Replies (24) Good night (3846) Bad night (932)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot

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(757): Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot http://tfl.nu/bsih

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(775): View more from Nevada

I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH

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(775): I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ef88

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(650): View more from California

sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else

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(650): sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else http://tfl.nu/g0kz

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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(717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?

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(262): Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/mk31

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