Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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