It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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