Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize