weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize