Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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