Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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