The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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