WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize