i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize