Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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