i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize