i barfeds in our rink
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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