Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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