And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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