Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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