return my video game
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize