I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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