There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize