Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize