your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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